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Friday, 13 September 2013

THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE

Assalam oalaikum,

Through this blog I wish to explore the institution of marriage in the light of Islam. I shall be dealing with the various types of marital discords which raise their ugly heads and take away the romance from the marriage.
Before I discuss any of the marital problems or their solutions I would like to draw the attention of the readers towards the essence of this Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (pbuh).

In today’s materialistic world marriage revolves around dowries, exchange of lavish gifts, grand buffets, loud music, designer dresses; unnecessary ceremonies, bachelor parties and a vulgar display of wealth. Somewhere amidst all this glitter and ostentation the essence of marriage seems to have got lost. Therefore, it would be sensible on our part if we try to analyze this Sunnah in its original context (i.e. in the light of Islam) before we move onto the marital problems.
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said, “Whoever marries a woman solely for her power and position, Allah will increase him in humiliation. Whoever marries a woman solely for her wealth, Allah will increase him in poverty. Whoever marries a woman because of her beauty Allah will increase him in ugliness. But whoever marries a woman in order that he may restrain his eyes, observe cautiousness and treat his relations kindly, Allah puts a blessing in her for him and in him for her”.
This hadith makes it clear that the intention or niyaah with which one contemplates marriage is quite important. If one is trying to perform this Sunnah with greed or an ulterior motive then obviously, Allah (swt), who is All-Knowing and All -Powerful will not place any Blessing for such a person in his connubial relations.

Allah (swt) says in the Holy Quran:
“They are as a garment to you and you are as a garment to them’. (TMQ-2:187)

In this Quranic verse, the word garment has been beautifully used as a metaphor to bring out the physical intimacy between couples in a marriage.

Here are some other ahadith related to the institution of marriage:

The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best character and the best of you are those who are best to their wives. (At-Tirmidhi)
This hadith lays stress on the importance of treating one’s wife well. Besides this the hadith also shows that through good behavior towards one’s wife a man can prove himself to be a good believer.

Narrated Anas (ra): Allah’s Apostle said, ‘When a man marries he fulfills half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.”
Allah’s Apostle said “The most perfect in faith amongst the believers is he who is best and kindest to his wife”. 
 The above mentioned hadith show that a believer can increase his rewards in the life hereafter through his marriage, i.e. if he handles his marriage in an Islamic way then he will be fortunate enough to be rewarded with Paradise. The ahadith also show that in Islam marriage is intertwined with faith.
“This world is nothing but temporary conveniences and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous woman”

This hadith shows that if the wife is pious then she will be considered to be a boon for her husband.

“Hazrat Ayesha (ra) was asked: “What did the Prophet used to do in his house? She replied: “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for As-Salaat, he would go for it.” (Hadith)

And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from own species that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect. (TMQ-30:21)
The above mentioned Quranic verse shows that Allah (swt) creates love and mercy between married couples which helps them to stay together through thick and thin.
So why do we find so many marriages which are on the rocks? Why do we find so many married couples contemplating divorce on trivial grounds, thereby making a mockery of the institution of marriage? When Allah (swt) has created love and mercy between couples then why does the situation turns so ugly? Well, you guessed it right! It is Satan who is at behind all this.     
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said, ‘Iblis places his throne upon water; he sends detachments (for creating dissension between people); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: ‘I did so and so.” And he says, ‘You have done nothing’. Then one amongst them comes and says, ‘I did not spare so and so till I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife.” Shaitan goes near him and says, ‘You have done well.” He then embraces him. (Sahih Muslim and narrates by Jabir Ibn Abdullah)

A problem understood is a problem half- solved. Therefore, if we understand the cunning nature of Satan and how he loves to create strife between married couples, we can deal with the situation in a better way.
Satan loves to create discord between a husband and wife for obvious reasons. He knows that the sexual relation between married couples is lawful and their offsprings will also be legitimate. So Satan loses the opportunity of making people sin. Therefore, the motive of Satan is to ruin marriages, make couples split and contemplate divorce. This makes Satan very happy because a divorce not just affects a man and a woman but also their children for a long time to come.
So beware of Satan’s scheme so that we can frustrate his plans instead of getting frustrated ourselves!

Keep Me In Your Prayers,
Amel Soname
Amel_soname@yahoo.com

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