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Friday, 13 September 2013
We have often heard of the cases about friction between married women and their mother-in-law. This mother-in-law-daughter-in-law conflict is quite a common occurrence in households. Though it rarely occurs in nuclear families but in joint families, this conflict seems to be a part and parcel of the marital life. This is obvious because getting along with one another will be more difficult when people stay under the same roof. Before I
delve further into this topic let us go through some pertinent hadith:
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said, ‘The best amongst you are those who are best to their families and I am the best of you to my family”. (Tirmidhi, Sahih)
“The best of you are those who are the best to your wives”. (Tirmidhi, Sahih)
The best of women are those that please you when you see them, obey you when commanded and who safeguard themselves and your money in your absence”. (Tabarani, Sahih)
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said, ‘Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother,” (Nasai, Ahmed).
While dealing with this topic the common course that is taken is to critically analyze the role played by the husband, wife and the mother-in-law and then offer some solutions. However, if we deal with this topic in the light of Islam then merely passing judgments on attitude of the husband, wife and the mother-in-law will not suffice.
When we look at this problem from the Islamic perspective then we know for sure that instead of blaming people or situations we ought to look deeper into the matter and solve the problem holistically.
In my previous posts I have discussed in detail that the main factor which breaks apart marriages is the Satan’s influence. So the underlying reason for ruining of marriages is Satan in 100% of the cases whereas apparently the reason may seem to be something else, such as a possessive mother-in-law, ego hassles, extra-marital relations etc.
If Satan makes up his mind to destroy a marriage through the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict then will use his old tricks of whispering into the ears of both. If both of them are wise enough to understand Satan’s foul play then peace will prevail between them. However, if any one of them gets swayed by Satanic whispers then the result will be drastic.
As far as the man is concerned he ought to understand the importance of both the women in his life. His mother is the one who has given him birth and his wife is the one who gives birth to his children. Therefore, instead of getting inclined towards one of them and ignoring the other he should try to strike a balance between both his relations. Satan can incite the man to fulfill his duties towards one of them and behave irresponsibly towards the other. This can also create a friction in the familial relations.
If the problem has reached only up to this level then the people who are involved can improve the situation by ignoring Satanic whispers. They can also recite Islamic prayers which are specially meant to protect oneself from the onslaught of Satan such as:
And say, ‘My Lord, I seek refuge in You from the incitements of the devils. (TMQ-23:97)
And I seek refuge with You, My Lord! Lest they may attend (or come near) me”. (TMQ-23:98)
Reciting the Ta’awwudh
Reciting Surah Falaq and Surah Naas
Unfortunately there are ample cases in the society when Satan totally captivates the mind of the people. Thus, the mother-in-law can be incited by Satan into using black magic against her daughter –in-law or vice versa. If we look around, we find many such cases where black magic is being used by women who cannot tolerate the love and the strong bond between their husband and his mother. Though all this sounds shameful yet it is the dark reality. If people obey Allah (swt) then they can prove themselves to be the Ashraf-ul-Maqhluqat or the best of all creations but if they start following Satan then they can stoop very low.
Coming back to the point, if the situation has taken such an ugly turn that people resort to black magic to have their way then one can take help from a spiritual healer. As the saying goes, ‘A stitch in time saves nine’ so the faster this spiritual problem is diagnosed and treated the better. Timely action is possible only when the victims of black magic are vigilant. So it is up to you whether you wish to stay alert and protect yourself or shut your eyes to the problem of black magic and then suffer loss in the bargain.
Keep Me In Your Prayers,